Written to: Fireblossom Friday writing challenge "The Distorted Lens"
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Reapers Wall
Today started crispy cold, but nice, as
weather warnings came on the car speakers.
The grit truck missed a patch of black ice and
slowly my world turned topsy turvey. You
stole my ride with your phosphorescent
eyes
in the bright velvet darkness of night, and
I saw my life dance to the ice maidens
tune waved along with her slim finger tips.
A scribe in a white coat spoke in strange tongues,
as a quill wrote in transparent black ink
filling an empty scroll full of weird scribbles.
And all the while the Tappers kept tapping
tappity tap, tappity tap, all night
long under a meridian green moon.
I looked through your hot phosphorescent
eyes
when something cold burned against my chest.
Stone by stone up went a charred wall to the
monotonous rhythm of, beep, beep, beep.
At the topping out ball the Tappers skipped
to the frantic swish of the reapers scythe.
But from golden fields with ears of rye corn
came a warm whisper, hang in there my love.
Through snow winters blue and red summer nights
I fought with an electrical maelstrom.
The reaper was grim and seemed to weaken
as the scribes apprentice knocked down the wall.
And there was the green moon on a white screen
as my lightning bolt swords flashed up his scythe.
And soldiers clad in green gathered around
and cheered me on in victorious song.
Now golden fields smelled fresh and soft as silk
as they brushed across my tormented face.
No Sunday drive, this!
ReplyDeleteWhat a tale! Your ending is marvelous.
ReplyDeleteA strange "dream" in the ER (I assume). What a ride but I hope the ending means it turned out well.
ReplyDeleteHi Debi, thank you for your comments, much appreciated and yes it was one hell of a ride.
DeleteOh my... I've had one of those rides. It is an odd moment when clarity makes a brief visit and you realize it is you riding that bed of flashing lights.
ReplyDeleteNothing worse than being there on the edge and face the reaper.... very very vivid drive.
ReplyDeleteNow golden fields smelt fresh and soft as silk
ReplyDeleteas they brushed across my tormented face.
Great word-craft Julian, in fact all through the whole poem!
Hank
'Now golden fields smelt fresh and soft as silk as they brushed across my tormented face'.... such a powerful close!!
ReplyDeleteAt the very edge.. and back .. nicely described Julian. Drive safe.
ReplyDelete"Phosphorescent eyes" this is the first of this kind and to me it's enchanting. I'm enthralled by this piece of yours. Lovely write.
ReplyDeleteSo evocative. Deftly penned.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Paul.
DeletePowerful write Julian - imagination unharnessed still weaves it way to somewhere meaningful.
ReplyDeleteMuch appreciated, Scott.
DeleteYou describe this so vividly, I can imagine the experience. So well done.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sherry.
DeleteArticulate imagery of being in an ER after an accident! Glad it was a positive ending
ReplyDeleteA near death experience so well scribed! Riveting. So glad it ends well!
ReplyDeleteEvocative...well penned.
ReplyDeleteWhat an experience! I can visualize this one.
ReplyDeleteVery intriguing and mysterious, kind of nightmarish too. Luv these lines:
ReplyDelete"A scribe in a white coat spoke in strange tongues,
as a quill wrote in transparent black ink
filling an empty scroll full of weird scribbles. "
Thanks for dropping by my Sunday Standard today
much love...
My goodness I hate having this rides in cars where you see your life flash before your eyes....you described it brilliantly!
ReplyDeleteWonderfully described; thank God for the happy ending.
ReplyDeleteA very visual 'brush' with the reaper. An intriguing - and mesmerizing - piece.
ReplyDeleteThis gave me chills or should I say flashbacks. I have been in the back of an ambulance it all seemed so surreal.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting read, had to go to the end.
ReplyDeleteZQ
Sounds like a fantastic dream or a scene from Science fiction. I was intrigued by "You stole my ride with your phosphorescent eyes."
ReplyDeletewelldone. objects in this mirror are closer than they appear
ReplyDelete