By dawn, sadly, you’ll be gone.
Mist, translucent in hue drift
To minstrel’s tune in auburn air.
I lay feeling your warmth upon
my spirit. Slowly the change
from young to old complete.
Swimming up through rivers of
Time, not drowning and still
Without one single goodbye
You leave the branching hang
From bough and I watch you rise
Through ragged light as day slides
From the night; majestically, gone.
©Julian Clarke 2016
Your warmth upon my spirit... I love that.
ReplyDeleteayala, thank you for your comment
DeleteBeautiful! A softly eloquent piece: melodious and evocative.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Wendy, for your kind comment, I'm pleased you liked it.
DeleteThis is so beautifully written and makes me imagine the story behind it....so lovely, "your warmth upon my spirit". and I love "Slowly the change from young to old complete."
ReplyDeleteYour thoughtfull comments are very much appreciate. Thanks Sherry.
DeleteThis is quite beautiful, I too like "Your warmth upon my spirit" . I wonder about this Raven what has it taken from you?
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you liked it, Truedessa.
DeleteI lay feeling your warmth upon
ReplyDeletemy spirit. Slowly the change
from young to old complete
It is only natural that one feels the nearness waning as it progresses. But some goodness had in the meantime been savored. Wonderful lines Julian!
Hank
Thanks for dropping by, Hank; your thoughts have captured what I was trying to convey, and I'm so pleased you enjoyed it.
Delete"....as day slides / From the night;" most beautiful & also enjoyed the lilting rhyme...
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sumana, glad you liked.
Deleteyour words are so easy going and heart touching
ReplyDeleteHi baili, thank you for dropping by and leaving yor kind thoughts. Pleased you enjoyed it.
DeleteThis is like the essence of life captured - and as it must..flying on from day to night - superb writing
ReplyDeleteJae, thank you and I'm glad you liked it.
DeleteAnother wonderful "melody in words"
ReplyDeleteZQ
Thank you so much for your kind remark.
DeleteI love the way you have expressed the small anomalies of time - in day/night/dawn.. the sense of time passing and taking experiences, special moments with it makes me sigh deeply.
ReplyDeleteKerry, thank you for such an encouraging comment, certainly much appreciated
DeleteSuch a powerful write..!!
ReplyDeletePleased you liked it, Sanaa.
DeleteI love how fluid time feels in this piece--it makes me feel hopeful somehow, although I am not sure exactly why that is--young to old--day to night--how swiftly things change--you may not have intended a "thoughty" piece, but it makes me pause--perhaps to savor it
ReplyDeleteI'm glad of your interpretation, the fluidity of time was the feeling I was trying to convey. Thank you for your thoughts.
DeleteSo much beauty in the imagery of your poetry. It makes me wanting to know more about the speaker and subject, about the events that broth them together, about their end...
ReplyDeleteThank you, Magaly, for your thoughts, pleased you liked it.
DeleteThis is so tender, as a a love that slowly passes, like a brush against you cheek... bittersweet.
ReplyDeleteThank you, brudberg, for your thoughts, I'm pleased you enjoyed it. Bittersweet indeed.
DeleteI read this as sadness at the speedy passing of the years from young to old in a flash. tempus fugit so fast.
ReplyDeleteThank you, rallentanda, for your thoughts. Tempus fugit, yes it all seems to go that little bit faster as each year passes by.
DeleteThis is so beautifully written.
ReplyDeleteThank you, purba pleased you liked it.
DeleteThe ending leaves me with intense sadness...for the leaving. But I am not sure that I understand the entire poem. The change from young to old confuses me a bit within, and I am sure there was some symbolism in the raven that I missed. But the wording, ah the wording, so well penned!
ReplyDeleteHi Mary, In parts of celtic pagan mythology the Raven represents death, hence the title (bit morbid). This piece is about the passing on of a loved parent from the adult childs view......I was also trying to capture the passage of time, " day to night, and night to day and Slowly the change
Deletefrom young to old complete, The last stanza is reflective of the human soul rising from its now discarded body onto the west winds on its journey to the resting place of the summer lands.
I do hope this makes some sense of this piece. Oh and thank you for your thoughts.
Just to add," without one single goodbye" refers to the knowing that the one left behind will at some point after their passing be reunited io the winds of the summer lands,
Delete