Sunday, 28 August 2016

Raven

Friday night crossed the day and
By dawn, sadly, you’ll be gone.
Mist, translucent in hue drift
To minstrel’s tune in auburn air.

I lay feeling your warmth upon
my spirit. Slowly the change
from young to old complete.

Swimming up through rivers of
Time, not drowning and still
Without one single goodbye
You leave the branching hang
From bough and I watch you rise
Through ragged light as day slides
From the night; majestically, gone.

©Julian Clarke 2016

35 comments:

  1. Your warmth upon my spirit... I love that.

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    1. ayala, thank you for your comment

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  2. Beautiful! A softly eloquent piece: melodious and evocative.

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    1. Thank you, Wendy, for your kind comment, I'm pleased you liked it.

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  3. This is so beautifully written and makes me imagine the story behind it....so lovely, "your warmth upon my spirit". and I love "Slowly the change from young to old complete."

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    1. Your thoughtfull comments are very much appreciate. Thanks Sherry.

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  4. This is quite beautiful, I too like "Your warmth upon my spirit" . I wonder about this Raven what has it taken from you?

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    1. I am so glad you liked it, Truedessa.

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  5. I lay feeling your warmth upon
    my spirit. Slowly the change
    from young to old complete

    It is only natural that one feels the nearness waning as it progresses. But some goodness had in the meantime been savored. Wonderful lines Julian!

    Hank

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    1. Thanks for dropping by, Hank; your thoughts have captured what I was trying to convey, and I'm so pleased you enjoyed it.

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  6. "....as day slides / From the night;" most beautiful & also enjoyed the lilting rhyme...

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    1. Thank you, Sumana, glad you liked.

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  7. your words are so easy going and heart touching

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    1. Hi baili, thank you for dropping by and leaving yor kind thoughts. Pleased you enjoyed it.

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  8. This is like the essence of life captured - and as it must..flying on from day to night - superb writing

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    1. Jae, thank you and I'm glad you liked it.

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  9. Another wonderful "melody in words"
    ZQ

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind remark.

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  10. I love the way you have expressed the small anomalies of time - in day/night/dawn.. the sense of time passing and taking experiences, special moments with it makes me sigh deeply.

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    1. Kerry, thank you for such an encouraging comment, certainly much appreciated

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  11. I love how fluid time feels in this piece--it makes me feel hopeful somehow, although I am not sure exactly why that is--young to old--day to night--how swiftly things change--you may not have intended a "thoughty" piece, but it makes me pause--perhaps to savor it

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    1. I'm glad of your interpretation, the fluidity of time was the feeling I was trying to convey. Thank you for your thoughts.

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  12. So much beauty in the imagery of your poetry. It makes me wanting to know more about the speaker and subject, about the events that broth them together, about their end...

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    1. Thank you, Magaly, for your thoughts, pleased you liked it.

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  13. This is so tender, as a a love that slowly passes, like a brush against you cheek... bittersweet.

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    1. Thank you, brudberg, for your thoughts, I'm pleased you enjoyed it. Bittersweet indeed.

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  14. I read this as sadness at the speedy passing of the years from young to old in a flash. tempus fugit so fast.

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    1. Thank you, rallentanda, for your thoughts. Tempus fugit, yes it all seems to go that little bit faster as each year passes by.

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    1. Thank you, purba pleased you liked it.

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  16. The ending leaves me with intense sadness...for the leaving. But I am not sure that I understand the entire poem. The change from young to old confuses me a bit within, and I am sure there was some symbolism in the raven that I missed. But the wording, ah the wording, so well penned!

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    1. Hi Mary, In parts of celtic pagan mythology the Raven represents death, hence the title (bit morbid). This piece is about the passing on of a loved parent from the adult childs view......I was also trying to capture the passage of time, " day to night, and night to day and Slowly the change
      from young to old complete, The last stanza is reflective of the human soul rising from its now discarded body onto the west winds on its journey to the resting place of the summer lands.
      I do hope this makes some sense of this piece. Oh and thank you for your thoughts.

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    2. Just to add," without one single goodbye" refers to the knowing that the one left behind will at some point after their passing be reunited io the winds of the summer lands,

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Comments are very much appreciated and I shall endeavour to reply, however, this may not always be possible due to time restraints.